“I don’t trust anyone!”, “People are just not to be trusted.”, “There’s no such thing as unconditional love”, “Real love doesn’t exist.” & my favorite “Love hurts”. I’m sure at some point in time you’ve either made one of these statements or something of its kind or you’ve heard someone else say it. I have come to realize that maybe these words have more to do with a person’s self-perception.
Speaking with a friend today and we were talking about when you decide to make personal changes. For some people you may have grown up in bad circumstances and for others you may just have some bad ways about yourself but as most of us get older we decide to make some changes and become a better person. While change doesn’t come over night it can happen over time. The thing is old habits are hard to break partly because our thought process directly affects our actions and how hard is it to change the way we think?
If the majority of what was in your life were people being mistreated by those they called friend/family, trusted and/or loved then that will become your thought process. To NOT trust and to think there’s no such thing as real love thus what you begin to exhibit in life are behaviors that express that. At some point when you decide to make a change the biggest battle will be the ones with your thoughts because no matter what you see on the outside in your head the “old normal” will be to not trust. Not trusting and not believing in love is what has been instilled in you as the norm so now when you are making strides to be a different person every once in a while that “old norm” will attempt to infiltrate. The question is will you allow it to or will you fight it off?
SO back to why I said the statements above are more self-perception is because as the saying goes, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” (James Allen) [The Bible states this also, Proverbs 23:7] If you are thinking ill will of others it’s because you yourself are still of ill will behavior. I believe that once you have trained yourself to be a truly better person then maybe you won’t be so quick to think so negatively of others.