Michael Baisden Commentary: Love Is Important, But….
I’ve seen numerous relationships survive falling in and out of romantic love but I have yet to see one survive a lack of trust or the inability to talk things out.
That’s not to say …love isn’t important, because it is. However, we must begin to address the root problem of why most relationships fail and it’s not the lack of love, it’s lack of honesty and the inability to fix things when they break.
The majority of us marry, shack up with and become intimate with people we don’t even know. “Checking In” simple means evaluating your relationship at varies points to make sure everyone’s needs are being met. The reason why we fail to do this is because we either don’t want to face the problem, and/or we lack to capacity to resolve it. So, what do we do, we ignore the problem because we’re so infatuated, blinded by great sex, or too desperate to be in a relationship, so we let it slide. And we all know what happens when you ignore small problems, they become big problems, right?
Relationships are not romantic fantasies they are serious businesses, especially once children and money issues are added into the equation. And the goal of this business is to grow. But you cannot have a successful business without determining what each person is bringing to the table. And you can’t grow unless you make adjustments in the areas where you are weak. But that all begins with making sure you both have the communication skills to work through adversity.
I think you would agree that we need to do a better job of choosing business partners. That’s not devaluing love, that’s maturing and understanding that love doesn’t conquer all. If you don’t believe me, ask the over 50% of people who divorce every year! They too thought they were “truly” in love. And that’s the problem with believing all it takes is love, it blinds people to what it means to BUILD a relationship and to have accountability about each individual issue.
~ Michael Baisden
Inspired my new book, Raise Your Hands If You Have Issues.
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