Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? One where your gut told you run, but every time you entertained the thought of leaving, you couldn’t muster the emotional strength to leave? A part of your brain could always come up with excuses.
Is being in a relationship where you are consistently unhappy your idea of love? If so, I’ve got news for you: If you’re in a relationship with someone who used to make you happy and no longer does, what keeps you there is not love, it’s fear.
You’re afraid that if you leave you may never find someone else; you’re afraid of being single again; you’re afraid that what you really want may never happen, so instead of taking a chance and moving on, you decide to settle. Unfortunately, you just don’t see it that way.
You think you are making the right decision. You think by staying in an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship you are doing the right thing. You convince yourself that things will get better, that he’ll change and that it’s not that bad, you can live with things the way they are. But the truth is you can’t and you know it.
Deep in your gut you know you deserve better. You know you should leave and you know this isn’t what you really want. But because this fear is so powerful, you waste your precious time in a relationship where your needs aren’t being met.
You spend so much time trying to make him happy and trying to make the relationship work that you forget that your needs aren’t being met. And that’s a shame, because in a good, mature, healthy relationship, both parties are able to have their needs met … consistently. And that’s the key.
If you are not consistently experiencing the amount of love, honor and respect you desire from your partner, it’s time for you to move on. This isn’t about how great your relationship was when you first got together; it’s about your relationship today, and what it will be like in the future.
If you think things will magically get better, or that you can continue to ignore your gut, it’s time for a reality check. It’s time to ask yourself why you continue to stay in a relationship where you are not truly happy. If you don’t examine your reasons for staying in a toxic relationship, your fear will continue to get the best of you until one of two things happen: 1) your pain becomes intolerable and you decide you can’t take it anymore, or 2) you will continue to settle for a toxic relationship.
So, as the new year approaches if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, it would be beneficial to ask yourself this question: “Why do I continue to stay?” Because if you don’t look at and address your reasons for staying, you will undoubtedly find that your fear will keep you exactly where you are, and you deserve better.
Article courtesy of DallasBlack.com