Behind every bad relationship lies fear

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? One where your gut told you run, but every time you entertained the thought of leaving, you couldn’t muster the emotional strength to leave? A part of your brain could always come up with excuses.

Is being in a relationship where you are consistently unhappy your idea of love? If so, I’ve got news for you: If you’re in a relationship with someone who used to make you happy and no longer does, what keeps you there is not love, it’s fear.

Relationship Fear
You’re afraid that if you leave you may never find someone else; you’re afraid of being single again; you’re afraid that what you really want may never happen, so instead of taking a chance and moving on, you decide to settle. Unfortunately, you just don’t see it that way.

You think you are making the right decision. You think by staying in an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship you are doing the right thing. You convince yourself that things will get better, that he’ll change and that it’s not that bad, you can live with things the way they are. But the truth is you can’t and you know it.

Deep in your gut you know you deserve better. You know you should leave and you know this isn’t what you really want. But because this fear is so powerful, you waste your precious time in a relationship where your needs aren’t being met.

You spend so much time trying to make him happy and trying to make the relationship work that you forget that your needs aren’t being met. And that’s a shame, because in a good, mature, healthy relationship, both parties are able to have their needs met … consistently. And that’s the key.

If you are not consistently experiencing the amount of love, honor and respect you desire from your partner, it’s time for you to move on. This isn’t about how great your relationship was when you first got together; it’s about your relationship today, and what it will be like in the future.

If you think things will magically get better, or that you can continue to ignore your gut, it’s time for a reality check. It’s time to ask yourself why you continue to stay in a relationship where you are not truly happy. If you don’t examine your reasons for staying in a toxic relationship, your fear will continue to get the best of you until one of two things happen: 1) your pain becomes intolerable and you decide you can’t take it anymore, or 2) you will continue to settle for a toxic relationship.

So, as the new year approaches if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, it would be beneficial to ask yourself this question: “Why do I continue to stay?” Because if you don’t look at and address your reasons for staying, you will undoubtedly find that your fear will keep you exactly where you are, and you deserve better.

 

Article courtesy of DallasBlack.com

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3 comments

  1. And then if you are staying and it is because of fear, then it is time to address the fear as an emotion that you have that needs to be looked at inside yourself. You can then take what you feel inside and place love inside of it. What do I mean exactly; you allow fear to consume you.

    You see what you can’t face is that fear. Fear of the unknown is not fear really. It is unknown to what causes this emotional roller coaster of pain that subsides in your absence of thinking something in you is not going to make the right choices. Which is why you can’t see the choices.

    Behind the closed door of fear resides your dreams, your happiness, your sanity! Your fear doesn’t want you to see this door of forgiveness of ones self as to experience the pain you are in will keep you alive and give you it’s opposite which is a deeper form of true love.

    It is the poison we drink to kill the other person where in fact it is only a trial you are going to go through to miss the opportunity to miss the love you can place inside you to experience true love. If you can’t experience true love of self you will never be able to give that to another.

    We are taught this. For the pattern of pain is a cycle that can be broken! Fear is the gatekeeper. Banish fear to banish the door that hides your true pain you feel. Then place love inside your pain and then something magical will happen.

    You see if you are in this place where you can’t get out of, you are feeding it with your fear and your pain that creates the toxic part in the relationship. This is perfect to a toxic relationship! It is only a choice that is hidden inside the door to fear that you can remove before you allow the pain to come to you! This is what is meant by what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. Yes it is easier to allow the pain to stay.. but it is so much more freeing and stronger to love! The truth can set you free! Face it to embrace what is in you!

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