“I Cheated On My Wife With Her Best Friend, Married Her, But I Want My First Wife Back”

Talk about some Talk-Show S#!T!!!  I found this one on Hello Beautiful. Check it out:

Dear Gay Best Friend
I’m a thirty-five year old successful black man and I’ve never done this before. My sister reads your posts all the time on HelloBeautiful and she told me you would be the best person to come to for help. See I’ve been divorced for about two years. I cheated on my wife with her best friend and thought I was in love with the friend. I was so sure that I asked my wife for a divorce although she wanted to work it out.

Three months later I married her friend thinking this was where I was supposed to be but I was wrong. She got pregnant and it turned out that it wasn’t even my baby. Yes it was some, “You are not the father type bulls**t.” I’ve never been done so dirty in my life. By the way my stepfather turned out to be the father. Anyway I ran into my ex wife about six months ago and we started hanging out again. We have this amazing friendship that somehow I missed out on when we were married.

Recently I’ve come to realize I still love her and I want her back. I know I messed up, but a brothas willing to beg like a fat man at KFC with no wallet. To make matters worse she told me that at the time all our divorce drama was going on she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel like s**t now.  I know she feels something for me but I can tell she’s still hurting. She’s in remission now but she’s so fragile and I don’t wanna force my feelings on her.

I know we belong together I just need her to trust me again. What do I do man? What do I do?  I’VE BEEN A DAMN FOOL

What would you have to say to this DAMN FOOL????

You can read Your Gay Best Friends answer here:


One comment

  1. I would say it is truly sad that you have a pain in you that you have not fixed as of yet, and you will constantly be doomed to 80/20 the rest of your life unless you make some decisions about this inside yourself. You are seeking comfort where none will be and making your choices outside of yourself is the enemy in the process. It isn’t that you are a bad person, you just make of bad decisions.

    She is a reminder of what you could have had to be happy. If you realized your connection to this person to late realize it is a message in you now. In other words you continually are chasing happiness outside yourself and never will have a stable relationship cause you make this choice out of what you thought you needed at the time.

    This person your ex is strong because of the pain she went through without you. Strong enough to heal herself because of a choice you made without her! Realize that for her to have a friend relationship with you through the painful place you put her through. This should be something you need to learn from. In other words embrace the friendship and realize something powerful that this woman can teach you.

    You have a pain in you that has a cycle of not being able to feel the difference between what is good for you and bad for you. If her best friend made you feel alive cause she played a role of who you thought you wanted to be with. (That was a very addictive painful place you needed to experience. Cause it was already within you!) Hence why you went that direction an had a very bad place within it cause the truth smacked you in the face helping you find the pain you were seeking.

    You made this choice out of punishment for yourself and everyone around you. You felt wronged in your choice! Can you imagine how your wife felt when she was betrayed by her husband and best friend. She had to learn a very deep lesson in forgiveness and deep love to heal herself to no longer hold you responsible for what pain she was going through! This is a pathway to enlightenment that she made this choice without you being in her life. Choosing you as you made a choice to chose someone else who was similar to you as you are hiding from yourself outside and so you found someone who was similar.

    Now you have to know your friendship will be based on truth, which you will not be able to maintain in any relationship!! Unless or until you realize you need to heal places in you that need your facing without concepts that you are a bad person. You may have to go back into where the cycle was started. As any man you may find that you never had a role model in a male/female perspective that gave you self love and self respect to love yourself deep enough to live alone inside yourself to then share that inner love in you to have with another.

    It is not about making you feel worse of a man or woman for making mistakes based on not knowing what is love vs what is anything else outside of it! You have been abandoned in your existence by your own doing and by your own state of being, you have been betrayed in your existence here by others and yourself. All of these are apparent by the choices you make to doom yourself living outside yourself to make these choices.

    If you can finally face your pain and admit why you are broken then you may be able to love and not make another responsible for your happiness yet rather be responsible for it yourself and find another who can compliment it! Your lack of being able to communicate what you need or want, or anything else that is in you that you lack in terms of knowing thy self is being called to here!

    You are not alone, painful places inside oneself many are still holding another outside responsible for it! What you give inside yourself to yourself you will give to another!

    There is to much truth to this to include your need to punish everyone around you and you are the one in pure pain. Don’t try and find a relationship with another till you find the relationship with yourself to heal this. If it is genuine and you embrace your pain in all aspects you will find love to place inside of it. And she will only be able to make a choice whether or not to be with you again when she can see that you are now doing just that. It will break any cycle this choice to chose yourself! It will heal any pattern, break any cycle. It can only happen in your presence of this not in your absence. If you remove the role playing and find the root you will find out who you really are! Then you can be you undefined to discover what love truly is to you! You may even realize that what you seek is something different then.

    It is painful to endure yet it is necessary to face! I wish you luck within love and wish you acceptance for the pains that have a place in you to face. It will stop the karma and give you the true place of pain you need to experience to heal yourself and your constant place of making bad choices! There is more, you just have to go inside!

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