I found this very interesting post on couple-tastic talking about how to tell if a person is REALLY a commitmentphobe. Check out some of what they had to say:
The key to understanding commitmentphobia is recognizing that such behavior is rooted in fear—fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitmentphobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape.
One potentially misleading aspect of commitmentphobic behavior is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is the only one with a problem. In fact, commitmentphobic behavior includes “settling” for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from good/stable relationships.
So, what are some signs that you or someone you love might be a commitmentphobe?
- A long history of short relationships
- If married before, it was for a very short time and may have ended due to their infidelity
- They are attracted to long-distance relationships or partners who have very little free time
- They often move fast – think “instant relationship” type people. They like the excitement of the chase and to lock you the other person in, but they don’t want to be in for the long haul
- Severe commitmentphobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can’t feel comfortable giving in to the relationship, but they feel torn about walking away completely – lots of push-me-pull-you drama that strains the relationship and which is very confusing to their partner
- They offer many stories to justify their confusing behavior and make promises to change…but never do
- They often choose unsuitable long-term partners (already married, much older or younger, different religions) so they can justify not making a commitment long-term
- They compartmentalize their life and keep their partner away from their work environment, friends or extended family
- They are often unreliable, late or no-shows to plans they made with you
- When things start to get too close or their partner tries moving the relationship forward, they can become argumentative or abusive to create distance
- They usually end up behaving worse and worse to force their partner to end the relationship
How many of those behaviors have you undertaken before? Or, conversely, have you dated someone who has displayed these behaviors?
To read the original and complete post take a peek at Signs That You (Or Someone You Know) Is A Commitmentphobe…..