Well, unfortunately you’re not alone. One of the biggest problems for single women is knowing when to sleep with a man. It is a question I am often asked and to be honest there is no magic answer that works for everyone.
Some women believe in waiting a few months before diving into bed and others due to their beliefs they prefer to wait a long time, sometimes even until marriage. Now I am the first one to respect a person’s beliefs but If I were to be honest I must admit that I don’t get that one.
What if you wait until marriage and the guy is horrible in bed? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with Mr. One-Minute Man?
And for others there is no specific timetable before they do the horizontal mambo. They simply go with their gut and do it when they feel they are ready.
I have found that the timing of when a woman is going to have sex isn’t as important as her mindset and intentions beforehand.
If you think about it sex is just a physical act between a man and a woman. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch and start calling me a “typical man”, let me explain.
When I say sex is just a physical act between a man and a woman what I am saying that the “act” in and of itself is purely physical. A man takes his erect penis and inserts it into a woman’s vagina. That’s it. That’s all that sex is.
However, how we interpret that physical act and the beliefs we create around it determine if we think it is “intimacy, dirty, fun, unholy, etc.”
And this is where it becomes challenging. For many women they interpret sex as the ultimate sign of intimacy. For them sex is just as much an emotional act as it is a physical act. This is why once some women have sex with a guy their emotions get all out of whack when he doesn’t become more emotionally attached after doing it.
This is also why the Friends with Benefits arrangements often don’t work out. If you have a hard time separating your emotions from sex than it will be impossible for you to have sex with someone and not get emotionally involved.
Whenever I am asked “when should I sleep with a guy” I often answer with “when you are ready and you are doing it simply because you want to”.
Do not sleep with a guy hoping he will like you more. Do not sleep with a guy because if you don’t you feel he will leave you to get some action elsewhere. If you have only been going out with a guy for a little while and you are the type of person who wants to know a guy better before “opening up” to him I suggest you wait until you are ready.
The right guy has no problem waiting for his woman as long as he knows the payoff is realistic and worth his time. However the wrong guy will pressure you and talk about “his needs”. He will say or do anything to get his way.
Any man that “pressures” a woman into having sex with him is not a man, he is a boy.
Now I like sex just as much as anyone who walks the planet, just ask my wife. But the truth is sex is simply one piece of the relationship puzzle.
The problem for many men and women is that they believe it is much more important than it is. There have been plenty of people who had great sex lives but could not make their relationship work out of the bedroom.
There is a simple way to know if you are emotionally ready to have sex with a guy. It takes you being completely honest with yourself, but if you do it will help you to know if you should take off your pants or keep them zippered.
Simply ask yourself if you had sex with this guy and never heard from him again would you regret it? If you would regret it it means you are not ready to cross the line. Because you are doing it for something other than your own enjoyment.
If you answer “no,” than grab a bottle of wine, put on some Barry White, light some candles and have some fun.
The more you are honest with yourself and your feelings the easier it will be for you to know when you are ready.
Unfortunately that is what makes the whole sex thing much more complicated. Because more often than not we want something so bad that we let our emotions cloud our judgment.
If you have a history of sleeping with men too quickly or you have a pattern of picking men who only satisfy you sexually and you would like to learn how to find and attract the type of guys who will fulfill you both in and out of the bedroom I would like to invite you take advantage of a FREE private 1-on-1 phone consultation.
In this free 45 min consultation we will discuss the obstacles which are blocking you from having what it is your heart desires .
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