Why did his leaving the seat up on the toilet make you threaten to leave him? Why did her not cooking dinner that one night cause you to go out and have an affair?
Relationships are not as good as they could be when people hold on to the little things that have hurt or offended them. After holding all of those small things in for so long they begin to mount up and become volcanoes waiting to erupt. You find yourself turning a small issue into an all out war. It’s difficult enough to completely open yourself up after being hurt because you’re afraid you’ll be hurt again and no one can promise that loving someone won’t hurt. In fact, you can’t love without being willing to be hurt. It’s not possible. What you can do is COMMUNICATE about things instead of sweeping them under the rug and allowing them to fester into unavoidable mounds of debris.
When something happens that is offensive to you, let the other person know it. Now sometimes this may mean waiting until you’re no longer upset because your delivery alone can cause a problem. As they say, “it’s not always WHAT you say but HOW you say it”. My point is, talk about it and get the small stuff resolved and forgive. Don’t sit back and hold a grudge.
You can’t have real love unless you’re willing to forgive. Love keeps giving the other person another chance. Love keeps expecting them to do the right thing the next time. Someone told me if you’re not willing to trust and be hurt then you’re not really living. Don’t trade your happiness for something small that offended you. Forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead.
NOTE: Communication is a MUST and a very important factor in communicating is LISTENING. While listening you DO NOT interrupt. (As much as you’d like to) If you’re sitting there thinking about your next words then you really aren’t listening. When it’s your time to speak recognize your tone of voice. Yelling is NOT effective communication. How many of us like to be yelled at? When someone yells at me I know I’m really not listening, I’m thinking about going upside they’re head!
- Are You Listening? (betweenthedash.wordpress.com)
- Communication in a Relationship (socyberty.com)
- The Importance of Forgiveness (brighthub.com)