A Good Woman is Hard to Find!

We’ve all seen/heard the phrase “A good man is hard to find”, right? Well let me say that a good woman is even harder to find! Hearing a woman say, “I know I’m a good woman”, has become a red flag for me. And by that I mean this: Ladies what is it that make you a good woman? By what measuring stick are you using to declare you’re a good woman? Some generalities and not specifics such as this:

1.You are on Section 8 and you don’t have a disability.
2. Your home is not clean AND sanitary.
3. Your own personal hygiene is awful. Smelly punany, unkept nails/hair, etc…
4. You want a man with a good job, but you don’t work. <—-???
5. You own all of the latest exercise videos, but haven’t broken a sweat since your 3rd baby…
6. You have kids who are very poorly disciplined. You know them kids bad as hell!!!
7. Yo’ 4th baby’s daddy has a key to your place and comes over doing laundry regularly.

These are examples of actual things I, and male friends of mine, have talked about!
In all fairness I have heard complaints from women about men cheating, lying, small privates, living with their mom’s, baby mama drama, going to jail, etc,… But face it ladies. Ya’ll got some stank issues too! The overall expectations women have for men are actually higher than most men can achieve. And ya’ll expect us men to accept you as you are. And we do. Realistically, if a man does have a great career, educated, has the six-pack abs, can probably pleasure himself with little effort, tall, dark, & handsome; what are you bringing to the table? What can you offer a man that will make him cherish you? Where are the good women??? Where are the sistas that has her own job, home, car, and manages them well!!! There are concerns on both sides of the relationship fence. But at what point does each individual begins to work on self to become an asset to a potential mate, male or female? I ask you, “What makes YOU a good woman?” Name a few attribute that makes you a Top Draft Pick…



  1. >A good woman….what I may define as a good woman the next may not. A good woman is one who is confident within her ownself. So therefore I have mo problem with building up NOT just my man, or men in general, but other women and the upcoming generations. Although I have 4 children, I didnt allow myself to get too out of hand. Besides working out, in which I do 4 days a week, I watch what I eat and try to give my family healthier choices as well. I believe in God and have made sure that I keep a close relationship with him. I have prayer partners that I pray with EVERY morning. I clean house, I cook and love to cook for my family. Although I don't have a 9-5 like most, I have my own money, my own bank account, I help to put groceries on the table, I pay my own car insurance, my car is paid off, I get my own car serviced and cleaned and gas-ed up. I don't own my own home because I'm married and we share one together. My children stay dressed as well myself. And on top of all of that I am putting my self through college, since 08', to obtain my BSN.(bachelor in nursing) as well as starting my own non-for profit organization called Transforming Faces Foundation, along with two other people, using our failures and lives to minister to others in hopes to better our communities. One thing I take much pride on is recognizing that no one is perfect not even myself, however I don't use that as an excuse to continue making the same mistakes. Every day I make it my priority to better myself spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, and educationally. But I give NO ONE credit for any of it. All credit and credit belongs to God and him alone. I am a good woman because I am Gods child, willing to constantly be created, shaped, and molded on the potters wheel to become more like HIM.

  2. >What a good woman is to you may not be a good woman to another man. I have been with my share of men in my life and I can honestly say that they were all good men in their own sense but just not good for me.I know what makes me a good woman but that doesn't mean it suits your definition. As for the things you listed above, no I don't fall into any of those categories but evidently that's good for someone because some women like that have husbands, boyfriends and such.Due to how much "A Good Man/Woman is hard to find" has been stated I'm just not really that into it because as stated previously, "to each their own". What I have to say is that GENUINE people are hard to find….

  3. >Yes to each their. These are what I feel makes ME a good woman. I can't say what MAN may except as a good woman. We have to be happy and content with who we are, knowing that we ARE GENIUNELY being the best woman/man that you can be, or else we end up with personality issues because we're trying to fit the mold that everyone else expects us to fit. You cannot do that. What works for one may not work for another, that doesn't mean you're less than. These rules that we try to place on everyone as a whole does not work. So are you saying that if there's a femal who don't cook is not considered a good woman? Are u saying one who allows the clothes to pile up sometimes is not a good woman? We have to be careful how we speak for the male/female species as a whole.

  4. >Oh ok. I didn't recognize you at first! (LOL) Of course, each person has his/her own likes and dislikes and different tastes. You don't fall into any scenarios I described at all! Your husband MUST be praising you continually!!

  5. >Ok I must piggy back on what Anonymous and Lady J has said but also to add that each individual is unique and has some kind of qualities that will turn a person on. I myself am divorced and I considered myself to be a good woman but one evidently my ex couldn't appreciate at the time but now does. I am a Christian, I cook when I need to, clean my place because I detest living in a nasty house, I raised 3 children practically by myself and God's help and the fact that none of them are in jail and haven't been is a blessing and also hopefully will set the fact that the Lord and I did a good job. I have my own ride, which I'm paying for and it's a 2010. I pay my own bills always have even when married. As far as looking for a good man yes I'm looking for that who wouldn't want a good man/woman but each indivdual's definition of good lies with them there is no general definition I believe. Independent I am but I know how to step beside my mate when the time comes and not walk before and neither behind him. Six pack, good hair chisled features doesn't turn me on because those things will fade and disappear it's what the man has in his heart and the way he treats me is what I look for not the outside package because anyone can dress that up.

  6. a good woman is very hard to meet today. their attitude towards us good straight men sucks. they are very nasty, when you try to have a conversation with them. i know, i tried, and they are not worth meeting. it is a shame to say, but a lot of them are pigs today. they must have had a very bad childhood, which is very sad. the men that they once lived with, must have been very abusive as well. now, a lot of them hate men today. now i know why good men like us are having a very hard time meeting good women out there. there are so many gay women out there now, which adds to the problem of meeting decent women. i was married twice at one time, and was a very caring and loving husband. since they both cheated on me, this makes me now very upset. i never cheated on them. i was a very happily married man at the time, and never mistreated them at all. maybe i was just too good, since these women today go after the wrong men. now that i am alone, i will go out every single night just hoping that i will be in the right place at the right time to meet a good woman. why should i stay home, since there is no one to stay home to. being alone now sucks, like i said before. a lot of times i will break down and cry, especially when i see other men that have been very lucky to have met the right woman and have children. i always wanted a family of my own too, but so far that never happened. i wonder if there are other women that have the same problem out there. i would like very much to hear from you. for me, if i could be very lucky to meet the right woman it would be like i have one the lottery.

    • Continue to do you and be patient. Don’t let one or two apples spoil the whole bunch for you. The same that not ALL men are bad, not ALL women are bad either. You just have to weed through the bad ones to get to the good one. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws but anything worth having is worth working for. You must be willing to put in the work so continue on your path loving you and when the right woman comes along be ready and willing to work to keep her. She’s out there somewhere!

      • where i live most of them are lesbians today, what human waste they are. i consider myself a good looking straight man, that would like to meet a good woman for me. many women out there now are whores as well, these are the ones that do like men but need so many men to please them at one time to keep them happy. god forbid, if they were to stay with one man. i have to say that years ago, our parents and grandparents were very lucky to have met back then. they have stayed together so long, unlike today. then again, it was a lot different back then and meeting a good woman was certainly much easier than now. i know other men that are having the same problem, at least i am not alone. the men that were very lucky to have met the right woman for them and have a family as well, should go to church to pray and really thank god for what they have now. it is the men like us that are really hurting now, especially being alone and single today

  7. i have to agree very strongly with that person that made that comment above. it is true that the women out there now have become very nasty, with their no good rotten attitude problem that i have noticed now. what is up with that ladies? many of you women must have been very mistreated at one time, maybe that is the problem. so many of you women now must hate men today. just remember, there are many of us good men that are still out there left looking to meet good women today. i myself, hate going out to the clubs on the weekends. the women are usually a tease, and they are really not looking to meet men. now that i am in my late fifties, i just hope that i can meet a woman that can like me for myself.

    • To Very True, gosh I think saying that lesbians are human waste is pretty harsh but hey you are entitled to your feelings.

      @Absolutely Right I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of women have had their emotions so mistreated that they have become bitter. If you’ve never experienced someone who genuinely cares for you and about your well being then you don’t know how to react when you find someone who does.

      As I said previously I don’t think all men are bad or all women but I think there are a lot of both out here who have been hurt badly and carry the baggage and drop it in the next person’s lap. It’s not fair but it happens so if you recognize that’s their problem but don’t have the patience to help that person heal through their pain then you need to keep it moving and not bad talk that person because they weren’t ready for you. Healing from hurt is not easy.

      Now about you going to the club to meet women…not to say you CAN’T find a woman there but I don’t think that’s one of the BEST places to be looking for anything substantial. 😉

  8. let me just say this, i have been hurt so much by women and i feel as if god is punishing me for some unknown reason. i never did anything wrong on my part, that is for sure. it is bad enough that god put me on this rotten earth to begin with, at least he could have done for me, was making me meet the right woman and have the family that i always wanted to have. why should other people be so lucky to find happiness, and not people like us? what makes these people so damn special? it is amazing how god could be so rotten to people like us, and give the other people a life, that we would have wanted too. like i have said with my last comment, many women have that no good attitude problem now, which makes it worse. i have to say that many women years ago, were certainly much more educated. it would have been easier to meet women back then, since the times were different. i do certainly blame god for this, because now that i am in my late fifties, i really hate going out. i never did like the bar scene, from the very beginning. sorry for bothering you with my problem, but i am not making this up, and telling you straight out how i feel. i know that i should go to different places other than the bar, but i just do not know where to go. this is why i will go out every single night, not to be home by myself since i have no one to stay home too. any suggestions you have for me, will sure help. in the mean time i will just go out, and hope for the best.

  9. it seems very hard nowadays that the good men and women just can’t seem to connect with one another anymore, like many of them did years ago. the times today have certainly changed, and i do wish that i had been born a lot sooner to avoid this mess today. i am having a very hard time myself meeting a good woman today. i do have to certainly agree, being alone and single again is no fun at all. there are no more single dances in my area, like they use to have at one time. i most certainly agree, meeting women years ago was a lot easier than now. i was married myself at one time, but my wife cheated on me. i was a very good, loving and caring husband. it is very sad to see the divorce rate being so very high today, and both men and women just can’t seem to be committed to one another anymore. my aunt and uncle are starting their 65th year together. they had problem too back then, but they always managed to work it out. i do have to say, GOD really worked for them.

    • I believe that maybe a VERY big part of them lasting is that their belief system long ago was so much better than now. They believed in making marriage work and that God was the foundation. Now it seems the value system has just diminished. People don’t believe in anything, almost not even themselves and they don’t believe in doing the WORK it takes to keep a marriage together.

  10. TO LADYJS VOICE, you certainly hit that right on the button with that comment. and there are just so many of us serious good men out there that are really looking to find love again. let me tell you, being alone is no fun at all these days. especially now that the holidays are drawing closer, and most of us men out there are hoping for our luck to change. women are certainly the much stronger sex when it comes to staying alone, the men are not. for me, sharing a love life with the right woman would be a wonderful thing. PEACE

  11. TO LadyjsVoice, the women and men that were very fortunate to have met one another should go to church to pray, and thank GOD very much for having each other and having a family as well. it is the good men like us that are really hurting today, and obviously would have wanted the same thing. thank you very much for your support.

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